Gluten Free Blackberry Cobbler

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you blackberries, you make cobbler.

Ingredients:

Produce:

3 1/2 cups of wild Blackberries (washed)

Condiments:

2 tsp. Lemon Juice

Dairy:

1/2 cup Milk

3 tbsp. Unsalted Butter (softened)

Baking & Spices:

3/4 cup Sugar + 1/2 cup later

1/2 cup Brown Sugar

1 tbsp. Corn Starch

1 tsp. Cinnamon

1 tsp. Baking Powder

1/4 tsp. Salt

1 cup Gluten Free Flour (I use Pillsbury because it substitutes evenly)

1 tbsp. Vanilla

Water:

2/3 cups boiling

This recipe was originally from my boyfriend’s paternal grandmother, but I made some small tweaks when I did it on my own.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees, or you can use an air fryer (I did). Set a small sauce pan with 2/3 cups of water on the stove top to boil.

The recipe calls for a 9″ x 13″ dish, but I used two square 8″ dishes and doubled my recipe. Grease it with butter. Is there anything better than butter? – Julie Powell.

Yes, butter. Julia Child was a butter lover, so is Paula Deen, who was ever a lover of nonstick spray?

Mix your blackberries in a separate bowl with a little bit of the first half (3/4 cup) of sugar and lemon juice and let the sugar dissolve in the citrus acid of the lemon. Pour into dish(es).

In a mixer mix the rest of the first bit (3/4 cup) of sugar, butter, baking powder, salt and sifted GF flour. Slowly pour in milk and vanilla. Mix well; may be slightly lumpy.

Pour over blackberry mixture.

For the topping: mix together the second half of sugar (1/2 cup), brown sugar, corn starch and cinnamon. Pour the boiling water over the top.

Bake in the oven for forty-five minutes (gluten free cooks faster, so you’ll have to keep checking on it) or in an air fryer for thirty-eight. The top should be golden brown and bubbling.

Pair with ice cream, fresh cream or whipped cream.

Enjoy!

Ducklings, Jet Skis & Unemployment

Firstly, I’m surprised that I haven’t posted at all in July or August. I had no idea it had been that long. I guess its hard to notice things when you have your head down.

Here’s the second truth.

After my dog passed, it changed me. A big part of me died with him. I needed something to fill the void. My boyfriend would comfort me while I cried and mourned my loss. Even months afterward, I cried. I sobbed into pillows and cried in the face of my boyfriend’s dog, Freddy, terrorizing the poor boy with exclamations of “you’re the only dog I have left”.

Then, my boyfriend decided we needed ducks.

Actually, it was more complicated than that.

I saw a picture on Facebook of baby ducklings for sale, and I said they were cute and I wanted a duck someday.

A week or maybe two weeks later, he took me to a Tractor Supply store to see if they had any ducklings for sale, without telling me until we were almost there. They didn’t have any, and at the time we both decided it was a good idea not to get them, because we lived with his parents which I was sure, wouldn’t approve.

But then we went back after awhile and found that they did have ducklings. I looked at my boyfriend and he looked at me and said “do you want one?” I was excited but I still said we shouldn’t.

But we did.

We got two. One pure black one, one yellow one with a gray bill.

After several months, my little yellow one got kind of chunky so I named it “meatball”.

Around that same time, my boyfriend bought me a vintage sit-down Wave Runner jet ski, because we’d spent most of the summer out on the lake, testing out his 90’s Kawasaki stand-up, and our friend’s stand-up.

The first few times we went out, there were problems. Either it rained too much and the lake was full of debris, or the battery died, or the gas was low. Eventually, I got to ride and even stood up for a little while my first time. The only reassurance I had was that it wouldn’t hurt when you fell off.

Being unemployed, I’ve been depressed looking for another job. I tried to get a job in road construction with a friend of ours, but after some stories, I decided I’d rather not work there. Now I’m trying for a job at the distribution center with my boyfriend, making $18/hour, working 3 – 10 hour days a week with the option of overtime days. I have a few thousand saved up, but we are trying for twenty thousand by this time next year, so we can put a down payment on a house.

I haven’t done a whole lot of cooking lately. But can you blame me?

Quitting a toxic job

I’ve been meaning to write another post for three weeks now, but several events have transpired that left me tumbling down a steep hill, and progressed to what feels like falling into a dark ravine.

So I swear to Tell the Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth So Help Me God.

I quit my job. I wanted to quit it as soon as I started it, actually. My first day wasn’t so bad, but I was being trained by my manager who was leaving to care for her new baby. The next day, I was “trained” by the main boss, who had as much experience with this particular kitchen and the way things were supposed to be done as I did. Then came the only coworker I had who put me on a three day training schedule. Shadow and Teach, Shadow and Help and then Do it Yourself, were my three days.

I didn’t have experience cooking for large groups of people in large quantities, especially sixty people who ate cottage cheese and tuna fish sandwiches every single day. It was like a mix of a high school cafeteria and a sit down restaurant. I would have to make large quantities of food, by myself, and serve the food in a restaurant like style – with tickets.

This particular coworker, when she was training me, was not nice. She decided she didn’t like me. She decided I was an idiot. She decided I was inferior, and would amount to nothing. She decided I was lazy. Those things she also told my new boss, whom had worked there before, with her.

My new boss was skeptical of me. She hadn’t been a manager before (I’m assuming) and had no idea how to do it. She didn’t train me. She didn’t offer solutions when I made mistakes. She didn’t buy the necessary ingredients for the menus. She didn’t print out the recipes we were supposed to follow, for me. When I had questions, I got looks. So I didn’t ask questions if I could avoid it. I didn’t ask for help either. I would rather fail and dig myself into a deeper hole than admit that I made mistakes to people who would judge them to the harshest degree.

In my first month, I burned soup on five different occasions. Each time, I beat myself down, knowing how it would turn out the next day when my coworker would ask with a smirk on her face.

I burned soup because I was cooking two entrees, a pot of soup, and two to three sides at the same time.

Five times, I wasn’t offered a solution, until a manager from a different department told me to stack soup pots with the boiling water underneath like a double boiler. After that, I never burned soup again.

The residents still complained. They complained that I made the Tilapia too spicy with too much Old Bay, they complained that my Beef and Potato Skillet tasted metallic because of the red wine it called for, they complained when there was too much seasoning or not enough, the meat was too tough, they complained about the noodles I was supposed to use, and the menus I didn’t make. Some, if not most of the comments were hurtful.

One woman in particular said she hated my style of cooking. During the waitressing part of my job for lunch, one woman discovered I was the dinner cook and glared at me and threatened to give me a lecture. A man almost completely refused to eat anything I made and instead took sandwiches when he could help it. A couple at one of the back tables, disliked my cooking so much that they made every little comment they could and sent the food back sometimes three times in a night. At one point the man came into the kitchen to look for me to curse at me for not making the bacon on his BLT crispy enough. Then, they both told several managers that I’d severed raw, uncooked food.

Testing my abilities, my boss gave me more and more complicated dishes. I started to settle into a routine.

Most things, like pastas and breaded chicken or fish, I couldn’t taste due to a gluten allergy, so I had the dishwashers or waiters taste the dishes. I explained this to my boss when she told me all of a sudden I needed a doctor’s note for my allergy.

I’d had to go to the walk-in clinic before for a physical and a Tuberculosis vaccine to get this job. I waited at the clinic for three and a half hours that time, I didn’t want to go back and waste a whole morning for them to confirm something I already knew in writing.

The next day I was presented with a write-up. The first one I’d ever gotten in my entire life. For burning soup and not tasting my food.

I’d done worse things at other jobs. I’d intentionally be rude to people who were rude to me in the drive-thru when I worked at a Taco Bell. I broke safety protocols working for the California Conservation Corps. as well as dress code violations. I watched people steal from Jcpenney’s, and just sighed and walked away because I knew the local police would do nothing and because of that my boss almost no longer cared. I did all these things and yet I never received a write-up, I never got so much as a talking to, because the good outweighed the bad.

At Taco Bell I was the most reliable employee they had, when someone called in, they called me and I’d drive twenty minutes for a bigger paycheck. I got moved into the head line cook position, since I hated working the customer service positions. One time I worked nine days in a row.

At the CCC, I started off not doing as well as I could have because I wasn’t used to manual labor, but I pushed, and I became a Sawyer.

At my restaurant job, I got moved from Hostess to Prep Cook, but I was moved back to Hostess due to an unforeseen issue, that had nothing to do with me.

At Jcpenney’s I was moved from Cashier to Pricing & Signing Captain to an Operations Supervisor.

I didn’t have a poor job performance, or so I thought. It was poorer owing to the fact that I would be put down from all directions, so it made trying seem pointless.

After I’d cried in the bathroom (and the walk-in), I decided I wanted to quit. At that time, I was still going to wait to have another job lined up.

Then later that night, at least six plates were sent back (unusually high amount), and one of my disapproving guests came in to curse at me for not making the bacon on his BLT crispy (as I’d mentioned before). Since I was already on the edge, I snapped and wrote my official two week notice on a pad of paper on the desk for my boss and my coworker to find the next day, while I’d be relaxing on my day off.

My last day was the seventeenth, and I lied about having a back-up plan, but I didn’t want more of their looks.

On a day when I had time I complained to HR about everything that bothered me.

The residents never being happy and telling the managers lies about “raw food”, my boss not training me, my boss not helping me fix problems, lack of recipes, lack of ingredients, lack of respect from my coworker, occasional lack of respect from my boss, scheduling me or not scheduling me without letting me know, complaining about taking time off when my dog died, ruthless comments from my coworker about my job performance, lack of respect from other managers, the write-up, how my boss LEFT the write-up at the front desk for the receptionist to see, etc.

When I was done, she nodded and waved all of my problems away with a “that’s just how it is” attitude. Then she told me in a threatening way, if I didn’t stay two weeks I wouldn’t get a good reference.

The job was hell at every turn, but I stayed two weeks, did my job and went home.

I didn’t say good-bye to my boss and my coworker said a lame and what seemed underlyingly sarcastic, “good luck”.

I left, officially and my boyfriend’s mom turned my work shirts into rags.

Losing my Best Friend

I had planned on making my next post about an amazing new wine I’d discovered, and I had planned on posting a few days ago but several events in my life prevented that from happening and I’m sorry to anyone who was expecting a new post sooner.

On June 13th, as I was finishing up my last bit of cleaning before leaving work for the night, my mom told me that my one-year-old puppy, Jax was sick.

She said that he was lethargic, he wouldn’t eat, he would barely move, and he was having bloody diarrhea. It was a few hours after the vet in the small town I grew up in closed, and there were no twenty-four hour vets around, so she had to wait until morning. In the meantime, she got him to drink water and eat a treat.

She told me he was having the same symptoms my old dog, Shasta did when she was a puppy, she passed of old age in September of 2017. My mom said that Shasta was foaming at the mouth too, but that was because she was poisoned, but Jax wasn’t.

He stayed outside all night and in the morning my mom took him to the vet as soon as they opened.

As soon as he looked Jax over, the Vet told her that his gums were ice cold, he was dehydrated and that he was already half-dead, but he took him in for twenty-four hour care.

I called the Vet to check in on him while I sat in my car, waiting to go to work. They told me he was still in the same condition.

My mom and my boyfriend tried to assure me that he would be okay, that it had happened to Shasta and she was in worse shape, that it could be fixed.

The whole day at work I was a sobbing mess. I don’t know how I managed to piece together a meal.

At 2:00 pm, when I took my lunch break, I called again for an update, and I was told he was doing better, his dehydration was under control but there was still blood in his stool so he wasn’t out of the woods yet, but if he made it through this, he’d be around for a long time.

Mom called again just before closing and left a message, and they didn’t get back to her until the next day.

The whole time I prayed for him to get better and I kept thinking about seeing him for the first time.

We got him on June 2, 2018. He was born April 10, 2018. I remember stopping by my mom’s friends house to find all of them sitting and talking on the patio, and my mom cradling a little black lab.

He was a mix of a Black Lab and an Australian Shepherd, we later found out, and when he got older, it was obvious. He had the body and coloring of a Black Lab and the shortness of an Australian Shepherd.

After two days of having him, I taught him how to sit. A couple more and he could lay down, and after a few weeks he knew how to jump up and fetch. It took a month for us to potty train him.

He imprinted on me because I was around a lot more because I only had a part time job. He was originally my mom’s dog, but he became mine.

My boyfriend and I lived two and a half hours away from each other, which meant I would stay with him for a few days at a time and it was hard leaving Jax for that long.

It was much worse when I moved out. I would visit as often as I could and every time he wouldn’t stop jumping up and down and wagging his whole body when he saw me.

I wanted to skip work so I could go and see him, but the Vet said that it wouldn’t be a good idea for me to get him excited and then leave.

I thought he would be okay, because that’s what everybody kept telling me. I was going to go up on Tuesday and see him.

On Saturday, June 15th, around 7:15 pm, he fell asleep and the technicians couldn’t wake him up.

As soon as I got out of the shower at 7:30, I had a missed call from my mom and a text that said “he didn’t make it”.

The shock didn’t last very long, soon I was sobbing into the pillows on our bed. I texted my boyfriend and begged him to get off work early because I couldn’t handle being in the bedroom alone.

I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t want to. Deep down I still think it was all a mistake and he will be awake and ready for me to take him home, but I know its not true.

I couldn’t stay at work on Sunday because I was a mess and I couldn’t even try to cook, today I called in because I didn’t want to try.

I feel like I lost a child, and a best friend.

Tomorrow, my boyfriend and I will drive up to the vet and pick him up, and bury him in my mom’s backyard under the lilac bushes he used to chew on.

Rest in peace my sweet baby boy, I’ll love you until the day I die. I hope you can play fetch in heaven. I’ll miss you so much, Jax.

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About Kristin

I was born and raised in a tiny town in the great blue mountains of northern California, where cattle outnumber people. My daddy was a ranch hand, as well as a mechanic for tractors and farm equipment, and most summer nights were spent staying up until two a.m. in a baler, watching him weigh the bales and scare coyote and rabbit out of the fields.

In the mornings, just before the break of dawn, my mom, my brother and I would take a quad out to the field by our house and mom would push the wheel lines back while my brother and I wrapped our arms and legs around the steel pipes and rolled with them. After school I’d sit on the hard floorboards of a swather while dad cut the alfalfa round the edge of the field.

Back then I wanted to be an artist, an old-fashioned one. One that would get commissioned to paint a portrait of some higher class subject, or spent hours sitting at a pottery wheel to create some sort of masterpiece.

I wanted to be a writer too. I wrote my first book on hexagonal-shaped pink and purple paper that my mom had bought for me, that I’d stapled together and illustrated myself.

Throughout my childhood I never stopped writing. I scribbled ideas in notebooks and finally progressed to using the old dinosaur computer we had to type out pages of fairytales.

When I was ten, my grandparents bought me a laptop to fuel more of my imagination. Then I started writing pages upon pages of failed novels.  

By the time I was twelve, my parents separated to later divorce, and I stayed with my mom, who was struggling to both raise me and live under a single income.

Shortly after, my older brother graduated high school and left to Oregon to attend Culinary school, which left me to start and finish high school and do the majority of the cooking and cleaning round the house.

(In those days we ate a lot of pizza.)

In a sink or swim way, I learned how to cook eggs, mashed potatoes, rice, etc. I even made my own barbecue sauce once, although I never wrote down the recipe.

When I was 19, a college dropout and back to living with my mom, I started my first job at a Taco Bell, where I first truly dabbled in a cooking experience, of some sort. I stayed at that job for five months, until I had enough money to comfortably buy a used car and move back to the college town I abandoned months prior.

That time I couldn’t find a job or pay my rent, so I moved back home again, and got the first job I could get my hands on – the California Conservation Corps. Working there made an adult out of me; it made me gain muscle and sweat and ache, and it hurt me in more ways than just that. It slightly crippled my knee, and that’s what woke me up and scared me into quitting. I thought my knee would never be the same because that’s what I’d been told about those kind of injuries, and for months afterwards, it wasn’t.

In February, I started talking to a guy I’d talked to off and on since I was a Junior in high school, and it took me three years to realize he was perfect for me, and he was everything I wanted all along. On his birthday, the twenty-seventh, he told me his friends were all working and he was drinking by himself, so I got in my car at 7:30 at night and drove the two hour distance between us to say ‘happy birthday’ in person, and less than an hour after I got to his house, I became his girlfriend. I’d spend the next year and a few months driving the distance on my days off to see him.

After the Conservation Corps., it was my brother that got me my next job in a new restaurant and distillery (where he worked as a pizza chef), as a hostess and later a prep cook. There, I wore the chef coat and worked in a busy kitchen with constant yells of “sharp, coming through, sharp!” or “hot, hot, right behind you!”

In that kitchen, I learned what seasonings go best with calamari (Old Bay and lemon), how to properly hold a knife, that diced potatoes will turn black if they aren’t kept in water and bacon will hold beef patties together if they are too lean. I learned how to make buttermilk pie and lemon cake, how to prepare a traditional Caesar salad, and I watched the Head Chef (at the time) fillet an Alaskan Halibut.

Shortly after I started cooking (for real), the hostess that replaced me had to quit due to unforeseen circumstances, and I resumed my position at the front counter.

Then it was April, and the burger joint in town that had been remodeling all winter re-opened and needed people to work in the kitchen, and a former coworker contacted me to see if I wanted the job. Knowing it was my only opportunity to get back into it, I accepted, put in two weeks notice and started to memorize the menu, but then the time came for me to start, and I was never told what time I needed to come in, it was continuously stalled and put off until I told them I’d find something else.

My boyfriend’s dad came to the rescue with that one, landing me a job in a department store, because he had worked with the manager there before. Little did I know, that would be the worst job I’d ever have. The amount of stress I endured made my chest hurt and left me with a tension headache everyday, up until I decided I didn’t care. It wasn’t worth sixteen hours a week at minimum wage, so for months I looked for something else, anything else, but I’d reel in my line and find moss.

For ten months, June to March, I endured it and kept going in every morning with a cheerful attitude, insisting to myself that today would be better; I wouldn’t get stressed out, I’d get everything done before we opened, there would be no problems that would set me back, I wouldn’t get any rude comments from coworkers about not doing enough or not doing it good enough and somebody would actually help me get the job done. Every day my insistence of ‘today will be better’ was always crushed.

In March a few days after my twenty-first birthday, I snapped. I missed a prep day due to snow, and I knew I’d have to do twice the work in a 1/4 of the time it would take, plus train somebody to help me do my job and deal with rejection from upper management if I tried to ask for help. That put me into a restless sleep and made me get out of bed at one a.m., three and a half hours before I would have had to leave for work, and it was then that I decided to quit, so I texted my boss and went back to bed. When I woke up it felt like a weight had been lifted, and I never felt more at peace in my entire life.

By May, I moved in to my boyfriend’s house with his parents, his younger brother, his brother’s girlfriend, the five dogs, the four cats, the five (or so) snakes, the three (or so) lizards, two tarantulas, two fish, a snail, a gecko and a coop full of hens; and I’d started a new full-time job at a senior center as – you guessed it – a solo cook for a group of sixty.

It really surprised me, how much I didn’t know.

I didn’t know safe meat temperature, how to make tiramisu, meatloaf, mousse, what ‘braised’ or ‘Julienne’ meant, I still can’t find a happy medium when it comes to cooking rice, but here I am. 

So thanks for reading my first post, I hope that you like it and will follow this amateur blog for updates on life and good food.